How Saying No is Saying Yes

I was meeting with a client this week talking about the struggle of saying no.  So many of us, wanting to be people pleasers worry about the repercussions of saying no.  I challenged my client to think about how saying no might actually be saying yes.  Here are some thoughts about how this might be the case:
  • It can free up time to allow for self-care.
  • It may allow us to spend more time doing other things that take priority or that have been hanging over our head.
  • It can allow us to be more present in our lives for the things we have already said yes to.
  • Maybe by you saying no this allows someone else an opportunity to say yes?
  • Perhaps saying no to one opportunity actually allows for time to commit to something else. 
Recently I’ve reminded myself to take pause before saying yes/no.  This allows me time to be thorough and thoughtful in my decision making. If you find yourself still struggling with how to proceed, you might consider what the three most important values/priorities in your life right now.  If this new opportunity does not somehow feed into one of those perhaps it is not the time to take this on.  If it does align with one of those values then maybe there is something else that you are involved in that you can let go of so that you can more easily say yes? 
It is so important to pay attention to what we are involved in from day to day so that we do not become stressed, overwhelmed, resentful, and unhappy in our lives. *7/20/2021 Today I’m adding a podcast where I talk about this same topic.  It is something I have come back to yearly with my clients.  

Checking In

Ignite has been busy as the Apocalyptica Chromatics Card Deck Kickstarter succeeded so March has been a month full of filling orders for over 600 people and many trips to the post office!

I’ve also been wrapping up my last semester at graduate school, with less than a month of classes left I’m back to the crossroads – looking deeply at what my goals, passions, and what’s next?  This week I’ve had the opportunity to engage some coaching skills – helping a friend of mine meet her physical health goals.  She’s great at setting goals, but needed someone to hold her accountable.

Being the school geeks we are, I thought- why not create a special class just for her?  This means I built a tiny simplified curriculum, gave her due dates to check in with me where she has to write up her progress and then I provide her with feedback.

What I’ve realized doing this is that sometimes we can get so stuck.  For one, while the ultimate goal is to help her lose weight, what also needs to happen is for her to re-engage with her mind and spirit too (Deepak Chopra & Oprah right now are talking about this with a free meditation course they are providing).  Something I’m in the process of doing right now too; I get back to this place thinking – again?  How did I get stuck in these patterns again?  Back to writing in my journal, taking photos, calling my wider support system, working out, and eating healthier.

Photo Friday: Wrapping Up the Week

It’s been a long week, and yet it has gone by quickly. I sit here this Friday, re-writing my list of goals for the week, re-prioritizing what I’d like to get done and what’s realistic. Another weekend will be spent working on a paper for school, walking with my friend, volunteering & doing homework at Fair Trade on Main, meeting up with Notes from An Angel, and helping out with the kids at Eugene Mennonite Church on Sunday. I still need to schedule in time with Jeremy, playing with the dogs, starting my drawing project, and sleeping somewhere in there!

To wrap it up, I’m thinking about the colors I’ve seen this spring and summer- and I leave you with this: